Me vs Them

What will they say?
What will they think?
How will they react?
What if they don't like it?
What if they don't approve of this?

Why do we care so much about "them"?

No matter the “why” the truth is, often times we do or don't do things because we’re afraid of what others will think or because we want others to think a certain way about us.

It is good to be a sensitive and considerate person. However, there has to be a balance.

It's time we start asking ourselves;

What do I have to say?
What do I think of it?
Do I like it?
What about my reaction?
Do I approve of this?

Did you get the same answers?
Because I certainly didn't!

What are you building?

Over the weekend, Aashka was building a tall tower with her blocks. At one point the tower could not balance itself and it fell. The blocks were shattered on the floor. Aashka looked at me with a sad face, so I suggested to try again.

She agreed and started rebuilding. Something happened and this time she broke everything. I asked her, what happened? and she said "I didn't like it".

The 3rd time she made something and called it a "Princess Castle". It didn't look like a castle to me but she was very excited that at the end she made something she liked.

I sat back and started to think, the process of building blocks is very much like building your life.

You always want to make something that you like and are satisfied with. Working towards that, there are times when circumstances shatter everything and you feel completely lost and frustrated that all your efforts are wasted. And there are times when it's you who doesn't like what you've built and start all over again. 

No matter how many times you have to rebuild everything, as long as you like what you are building, that's what matters. So what are you building?

Not just Aashka's mother

It's the most amazing feeling.

It's a big responsibility.
Are you sure you are ready for this?
Hearing this from people gave me mixed feelings about becoming a mother.

And when it happened, everything changed for me. The way I looked at the world, the way I took care of myself, the things I talked about, the kind of food I ate and places I went to. There were things I loved doing, which I could not do anymore and there were things I never did which became a part of my life. My world started to revolve around Aashka and from Lavanya Soni, I became Aashka's Mother.

I love being her mother, but there are times when I want to be just Lavanya Soni, who has her own interests, her dreams, who craves for personal achievements. There are times when I feel there is more I want to do with my life than just being a mother. Taking care of Aashka and making sure she gets all the love and nurturing from us is important to me but what's equally important is that I want her to recognize me not only as her mother but also as a woman who loves to sing, draw and explore the world, a professional who is passionate about her career.

Hoping one day when she becomes a mother, she could continue to be who she really is and still be a loving mother.

He knows the balance

 

It's interesting how God understand our needs and balances our lives.

• He knew I needed a mentor, so he created my dad.
• He knew I needed to be kept in control, so he created my mother.
• He knew I needed someone to fight and take care of at the same time, so he created my brother. 
• He knew I really needed someone who can put up with all my craziness and loves me the way I am, so he created my husband.
• He knew I needed people who I don't need to talk to every day but still feel close, so he created my friends.
• He knew, after all this I still needed to understand and feel the meaning of true and unconditional love, so he created my little daughter.

I thank you God from the bottom of my heart for filling up my life with such wonderful people! 

Back off on the judgment

We are always so quick to judge people. How easily we imagine ourselves in that situation and say "If I was him/her I would't have done that". Sometimes by just looking at people we judge them and we don't even know them! "She's so fat", "He's looks funny", "If I was a parent of that child, I would not let him cry like this", "That kid looks so thin and weak, he must not be eating healthy food" etc etc...

Why do we do that?
They say it's human nature to judge others and feel superior of ourselves, or sometimes it helps us understand people and situations. Whatever the reason may be, it's important to know that everyone is an individual and that everyone will act differently in different situations because we are living a different life as a different human being and with different values. Things are not going to be the same for everybody!

The conclusion is: Let's not judge people and encourage each other to look for the best in others and bring out the best in ourselves too!

Here is a really nice thought from "Paulo Coelho"

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” 

The Grass is always green at the other side of the fence.

"The Grass is always green at the other side of the fence." Someone said this to me yesterday.  I agreed. But after sometime, I started to wonder, "Why is that?" 

Is it because that person is just lucky to have greener grass?

OR

Is it because that person has worked so hard to make it green and continued to work hard so it stays green?

I kept thinking and figured, the reason could be anything. But that's not my concern, what I really should be thinking is how do I deal with this. I started to think again and found a few solutions:

A - I can continue to complain about my grass and say "This is it, I am never going to be able to have greener grass, no matter what!"

OR

B - Take a different approach and...

1. Accept the fact that, the grass is always going to seem greener on the other side, no matter which side I am at. I just have to choose a side, stick to it and make the best out of it.
2. Take an action by saying that the grass doesn't grow on it's own. If I water,  fertilize, invest, and take care of my grass it will be greener on my side too.
3. Change my way of looking at things and start feeling happy about those beautiful flowers that I have. Because you never know, the other side might want flowers like me and not the grass that he has.

I am going to stop complaining about my grass and start working on it, so that one day my side of the fence will have a nice green looking grass too!

Simple Choices make BIG differences

Choosing from,

Roti or Pizza

Honey or Sugar

Wheat or All purpose flour

Rice or Pasta

Vegis and Fruits or Chips and Fries

Micky and Donald or Barbie and Cinderella

Twinkle Twinkle or Shila ki jawani

A Book or an iPhone and iPad

Hide and Seek in the park or X-Box 360

is as simple as...

Changing your approach from, doesn't matter and who cares, to...
I am going to try it out!